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Nine Kinds of Naked

A prisoner spins a playing card into a somersault, stirring a wind that becomes a tornado that takes off the roof of a church in nearby Normal, Illinois. Elizabeth Wildhack is born in that church and someday she will meet that prisoner, a man named Diablo, on the streets of New Orleans--where a hurricane-like Great White Spot hovers off the coast. But how is it all interconnected? And what does it have to do with a time-traveling serf and a secret society whose motto is "Walk away"?
"Chaos theory says that a tiny, almost imperceptible event can have large, even catastrophic coincidences: a butterfly flapping its wings in North America leads to a hurricane on another continent, for example. In this fictional take on chaos theory, several offbeat characters are linked by a single event that expands through time, sweeping them up in it and changing their lives. A traveler works a nifty trick with a playing card, and a tornado strikes a small Illinois town; a woman is born during the tornado and later meets the man who set it in motion; 1,200 years earlier, a man who is supposed to be stoned to death discovers he has an uncanny knack for surviving; and, back in the present day, another man speaks only in the present tense. Comparisons of this novel to the works of Tom Robbins are both obvious and appropriate: the story meanders around in an entertaining manner, never getting too serious about itself; the characters are splendidly loopy, close to caricature but never quite reaching it, and the situations in which they find themselves are comic, dramatic, and everything in between." --Booklist
"Linguistic gymnastics abound... Vigorito demonstrates once again that he's a wild stylist... startlingly original... an entertaining anarchist..." --The Chicago Sun-Times
"A neopsychedelic satire... channeling the spirited humor of Douglas Adams’ The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series..., Vigorito's is a crisp, sardonic voice." --Texas Monthly
"Part quirky love story, part philosophical manifesto, and part metaphysical mystery, Nine Kinds of Naked is almost more musical dance than written word. Tony Vigorito's book... is right at home with the works of Tom Robbins and Christopher Moore." --Sacramento Book Review
"With this strange carnival of a book, Vigorito has scored himself a permanent plot in the neighborhood of the American surrealist novel. The breadth of his imagination and the sheer exuberance of his writing cannot be ignored." --Neal Pollack, author of The Neal Pollack Anthology of American Literature and Never Mind The Pollacks
"Nine Kinds of Naked offers ten distinct varieties of literary satisfaction, including metaphysical highjinks, libidinous lowjinks, hermeneutic mind games, Gordian plot twists, cognitive estrangement, linguistic surrealism, stylistic pyrotechnics, laugh-out-loud jokes, scrappy extrapolations, and the synergistic sum of the above."
--James Morrow, author of The Last Witchfinder and The Philosopher's Apprentice
"Fans of Vigorito's... 2007 cult hit Just a Couple of Days will have a ball with this hyperactive, zany novel." --Publisher's Weekly
"Another whimsical tale of time, space, coincidence, and cause and effect. The author displays most of the linguistic acrobatics and playful rumination that made his debut a cult classic... In the tradition of Douglas Adams and Tom Robbins, much of the book is given over to philosophical musings about the connection among all things." --Kirkus Reviews
"Tony Vigorito has grown a cult following of thousands for one reason—his stuff is fun to read... It’s innocent, whimsical, sometimes silly even, but filled with the freshness and the freewheeling independence that made his reputation... This book is the “work” of one of the least pretentious and most enjoyable to read novelists at play in America today..." --Kris Saknussemm, author of Zanesville
"Nine Kinds of Naked is a wildly spinning tornado of beautiful fresh air. It'll blow its quixotic winds up your nose and make even the most cynical want to tear off their clothes and dance naked in the streets." --Chris Genoa, author of Foop!








